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Wintry dreams
December 12, 2012
9:11 am

Points: 1476
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Before I write this,i want to apologize for my gramatical mistakes,as maybe if they are,maybe are not,i do not realize that,as a non english person.I try my best tough . :)


December is snowing

Nature is bowing

Winter winds blowing

Snowflakes keep falling.


Snow blankets are appearing

The land,they are covering

A wintry vision is forming

Grass,bugs,are warming.


Kids are singing

Everyone is hearing

The carols echoing

Streets are resonating.


Their faces,snow is blowing

icy breath,winter is puffing

Its dark side,also showing

To bewitch them, in silence lurking.

December 13, 2012
11:15 pm

Points: 1489
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I like the use of all the ''ing'' words in the poem, very unique and beautiful. It gives rhyme and rhythm to to the poem. It's great for someone whose first language isn't English, too. I had one question about the line where you say that ''grass, bugs are warming''- warming doesn't fit December, unless you meant that sometimes after the first snow fall, snow sometimes melts and the land warms for a bit before it snows again,(like it's doing where I live now). Also, what did you mean by ''snow blanks'' , did you mean snow flakes? I was a little confused by those couple of lines..

December 14, 2012
6:48 am

Points: 1476
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Yes,after the first snow fall, snow melts and it gives the impression that the ground is a bit warm..and it really is warmer than snow:))plus,the blanket of snow that is covering the soil warms a bit the winter wheat,it;s kind of a shelter in front of the freezing blizzard(you know, it is sowed during autumn,grows a bit,the snow won't let it 'die' during winter,and in the spring it continues growing) .and for bugs too works,I guess. And with the snow blanks part i mean snow blankets, I really don't know why I wrote that,my mistake ,sorry :) . I'll edit the line . And thanks for the good thoughts and opinion, this warms me :D

December 14, 2012
6:43 pm

Points: 1489
Thanked 9 times

Also, the last few lines..maybe instead of starting out that line ''their faces'' put on ''on their faces''?

December 15, 2012
2:04 pm

Points: 8895
Thanked 41 times

I do like the form of this, the verb "ing" line endings are interesting and does give the poem good flow, I also like how its written in the present moment too. My two fav. lines are "A wintry vision is forming" and "icy breath,winter is puffing".

Fun read, nice picture :)

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.

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