. . .I miss you
It's raining out. In the middle of December the snow has changed to rain once again and the icy droplets just won't stop falling. They make me cold. . .Colder than snow itself.
But they remind me of the warmth you bring. . .
It's currently December 21, 2011. Four days until Christmas, three until its Eve. I've gotten your present already. . .
And you continue to fuss over what I want, when all I want is to see you happy. . .
You always worry about me, when really I should be worrying about you. You're family puts you through so much pain, I rarely see you smile anymore. . .
But. . .you'll smile and laugh perfectly fine around a girl that's not me. . .
Did I do something wrong? Please, tell me so I can change that part of me, so I can lock it away and you'll be as happy with me as you are with them!
Am I not good enough anymore?
I miss you, you idiot. I hate the rain- it's like the sky is crying and mocking me for being so imperfect.
You never did like the rain. . .
I prefer snow to rain, however. But that's because if it snows enough, we won't have to avoid each other in the halls and we can talk as long as you want!
So long. ..as it's not a bother to you, that is. . .
Also, it means that when it's cold out. . .
I can have one excuse to have you hug me. . .
I want to see you soon. When we can do whatever you want for however long you want, so long as it makes you happy. Okay?
I really want you to be happy. . .
I don't want you to fake anything around me anymore. You don't need to act strong. You can cry, or rant, or vent, or scream at me all you want, because I'm used to it by now.
It makes me happy to know you still feel. . .
It's currently December 21, 2011. Four days until Christmas, three until its Eve. I've gotten your present already, and you continue to fuss over what to get me.
But all that I really want for Christmas this year, above all else. . .
Is to take off the mask that hides you from me;
To see the boy I fell in love with, and who loves me too.
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