A A A

Register | Lost password?
April 29 poetry challenge - Worlding
April 28, 2013
9:54 pm
Moderator

Points: 12087
Thanked 228 times
1
5

littlegirl-1.jpg

Worlding

 

She holds her palm like a cup

for fear she might lose the tiny grains

to the ground. She’s worn to the soul

beneath tattered cloth, her bare toes

pressing into the earth.

She nearly blends into the stone,

the vines at her feet, their leaves

bowing as if to worship.

But it’s her stare that haunts

and distorts, surreal and smart,

like a child that knows too much

and holds the universe in her hand.

Attachments
Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
April 29, 2013
12:02 am
Moderator

Points: 8907
Thanked 41 times
2
0

Wow.....wow... yep. Your descriptions are always impactful but I think the picture with this one definitely increased the power and impact it  had on me.

"But it’s her stare that haunts"

Haunting indeed!

Your creativity and words never cease to amaze me. I love love the ending of this, more specifically the last 4 lines :) .

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
April 29, 2013
12:11 am
Moderator

Points: 12087
Thanked 228 times
3
0

Thanks UL, that last line felt right for sure. Glad you liked it!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
April 29, 2013
9:28 am
Moderator

Points: 7978
Thanked 179 times
4
0

Your ability to sculpt the written word into a poem that suits a picture is amazing here TLhopkinson. I saw something weepy and forlorn from the Holocaust upon seeing the picture. After reading your poem it became evident that your translation is one of near perfection that the photo of the young girl needs. Causes reflection that maybe I'm missing something in my view of the world. I love the ending. You certainly did your job as a poet here......................thought, feeling, depth, just enough of what should and should not be written..............................

Write on TLhopkinson.......write on.

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
May 2, 2013
12:58 am
Moderator

Points: 12087
Thanked 228 times
5
0

@Killerelite our different world views is what makes poetry and interpretation grand. Thanks to you for sharing your view. The same to all others here on Thoughts. Something tells me this forum and the current members and moderators are a group that will be hard to recreate. I feel very privileged to participate.

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
May 2, 2013
7:58 pm
Moderator

Points: 8520
Thanked 153 times
6
0

Adding pictures are the best. Your 'nailing of the cross' feel in this poem gives the girl an angelic composition.  I loved this one Trish. I've learned from other sites to add photos but I've only done it a couple times here. Hope it catches on. We should add credits to the photos to avoid someone getting their wings in a wringer.

 

Forgewright

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
May 3, 2013
12:33 pm
Moderator

Points: 12087
Thanked 228 times
7
0

This was a photo prompt for the April contest. They didn't give credit so I couldn't either. But yes, we should always post a source. I'm glad you liked it! It's one of my favorites from April as well.

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
November 14, 2013
2:18 pm
Moderator

Points: 12087
Thanked 228 times
8
0

Just found out this one (and two others) are getting published in my university's literary journal for their Fall issue :) .

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
December 18, 2013
5:38 pm
Moderator

Points: 5120
Thanked 126 times
9
0

Just noticed this one....This is a very strong poem. Very deep. I agree that the picture adds to the impact, but the descriptions alone make this a masterpiece. I love that every line paints a different picture and tells a different story.

The following users say thank you to SerenaLantha for this useful post:

tlhopkinson
My identity can be found in my writing

Most Users Online: 144

Currently Online:
15 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

c4a1g: 611

craigb12: 509

DivRem: 303

luv2rite: 260

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 8

Members: 11231

Moderators: 7

Admins: 1

Writing Stats:

Groups: 5

Forums: 53

Topics: 3889

Posts: 13765