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Endlessly Painful Journey - May 15
May 18, 2013
8:44 pm
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Laments and hatred

Cloak your mind

And make you blind.

Where will you go,

 

Now that you've lost everything

You have ever known?

Lost all the love you had,

And departed from friends

 

That you've cared for so deeply,

What are you, now?

The world feels heavy,

Lifting it all on your shoulders,

 

Alone and lonely;

Smiles and laughter do not cover

Your sorrow or sadness.

There is only endless lamentation.

 

But you separate from reality

Whenever you dream,

And so you sleep and sleep and sleep,

Until you think no more

 

Of the pains ahead.

Straighten your spine
And readjust the world on your shoulders,

For you have yet a long journey to walk.

I'm breaking constantly, continuously and always, it's just that nobody sees it - but I'm fine with that, as long as there's something to fix me, too. ~ Me
May 19, 2013
10:57 am
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Bravo Night_Sky. You've eclipsed the boundaries of human disparity with this poem. And you have come full circle in your evolution as a poet by simplifying the subject matter here. There are scads of such writings of a similar subject that tend to go on and on making me want to hit the off button. I firmly believe that for every poem there is just the right amount of words. And that the unwritten word is as important as those that are penned. Gives the reader pause for thought, allows reflection of self and surroundings.The ending is very similar to a line my Father used to offer when I was down ...................

Write on Night_Sky...........................

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
May 19, 2013
5:30 pm
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Thank you for your comment, @Killerelite :) Although I doubt that I've come full circle yet, simply for the fact that in terms of evolution, no matter in what, there is no 'full circle'. It is sort of like the sign of infinity, evolution, I mean. Endless, endless, endless and boundless. I know the feeling of ongoing poems that seem far too much (I've written a few of them myself), but sometimes, you just want to project every single thought of that subject into the poem because you want your message to desperately come across, as if its revelation could be the ultimate redemption of humanity. What I'm trying to say is that I get where you're coming from; Sometimes, silence is louder than any spoken word.

I'm breaking constantly, continuously and always, it's just that nobody sees it - but I'm fine with that, as long as there's something to fix me, too. ~ Me
May 20, 2013
11:55 pm
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Emotionally and visually this is such a powerful poem! Wow..... all I can think is.. lost.. hopeless... heavy.. and endless.. yet the end has a touch of perseverance.

"The world feels heavy,
Lifting it all on your shoulders,"

Indeed it does...

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.

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