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Oceanic Stars (original early 90s, latest edit 2002)
June 8, 2013
8:27 am

Points: 12046
Thanked 228 times

The night sky,

a thick, liquid mass

  and the stars floating in the darkness,

their twinkling blurred,

  all of it shifting like melted glass.


as if a pebble was tossed carelessly upward

              ripples turn colorless jellyfish and gray-blue dolphins,

    sea creatures in the first dimension.


Golden-brown mountains

  support the weight of the oceanic stars,

               standing boldly and tall.

     with their sharp, jagged personalities

        as if the sky might fall and drown them.

The cliffs

expose their white, unshy,

  the layer beneath their tough, stony complexions.

                in the darkness it looks like the last bit of snow,

       but when the full moon shines

         on the other side,

      they are white waterfalls,

   you can’t hear splashing or gurgling

                   only the scratching sound

                 of your soles upon gravel

              and squishing mud

           as you walk


And marvel

at flames of the fire.

              staring dizzily at orange

    and white coals glowing,

       absorbing the warmth like electricity,

                your eyes dance to it’s energy,

              as the flames change shape and color,

           like a chameleon with purpose.


Glancing around I notice I am alone,

but I can hear the others

their laughter carried distortedly on the wind.

Just one wandering thought

and they’ve returned...


We’re homebound again.


A/N: Trippy dippy... guess you could say this poem was an "experiment" LOL

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
June 8, 2013
2:24 pm

Points: 5078
Thanked 126 times

Wow this is one of my favorites of yours. There is so much detail and description in every line, my favorite being "as if the sky might fall and drown them."-only because it tells a story, of course! :) I am not fond of drownings. Again, I can't get over this poem. Great write!

The following users say thank you to SerenaLantha for this useful post:

My identity can be found in my writing
June 8, 2013
6:08 pm

Points: 8478
Thanked 153 times

"Dude.... Its all wavy and stuff."

"Yeah, I was like rocking  back and forth."

"She said distortedly."

"No way dude... Is that a word?"

"Probably not, but I ain't sayin' nothin"

"She's a stoner?"


"Trippy dippy man!"

If I could write like you Trisha I'd be a woman. Finesse is your friend. That's for sure. 

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
June 8, 2013
7:24 pm

Points: 12046
Thanked 228 times

OK, @Forgewright I have to say something at this point... Trish... not Trisha... that extra syllable makes it feel like you're calling me by a completely wrong name... like if I all of a sudden called you Bobby or something... just weird. Maybe you should try to write like me... maybe I should DARE you to try... and maybe I should try to write something Forge-ish... hmmm... what say you Roberta?

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
June 13, 2013
1:25 pm

Points: 7936
Thanked 179 times

Then I'll just stick with @tlhopkinson. I liked this poem in spite of myself. Generally not much for the 'Trippy Dippy' for lack of better words. There are several descriptive and colorful poetic lines that I really like. I guess the fact that it seems to offer several poems in a poem moves me to enjoy it. So Timothy Leary does TRISH Hopkinson in the 90' is becoming of an artist. And it does create impact to the nth power. Well done..............................

The following users say thank you to Killerelite for this useful post:

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele

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