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Sometimes I like to think.
April 22, 2013
6:19 pm
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Sometimes I like to think that no one would care if I disappeared.

Sometimes I like to think that they would hate me if I disappeared.

But I can’t; there are people here that need me. Not that they really care. But so long as they need me, I can’t leave. I'm not blessed with that privilege.

It works a little something like this: Someone that needs me will come into my life. I help them. “Fix” them, if you may. They make me feel happy. Loved. 

Like I actually mean something.

But as quickly as they enter my life, they’re gone. Once I’m no longer needed I’m cast aside- forgotten.

I think that’s all my existence is for. To help people; and to be forgotten.

Again.

And again.

And again.

God, haven’t I suffered enough heartbreak? Of being forgotten.

Again.

I can only pray that one day I will be forgotten entirely. I will no longer be just a face in the crowd- I will no longer be just a name. I will no longer have a place in time’s loom of people, of memories.

No one will remember me, then.

Someday, I like to think.

The following users say thank you to Ritski for this useful post:

uniquelylost
Someday, I like to think. . .
April 22, 2013
8:17 pm
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I can relate to this...You really wrote this message wonderfully. Being needed is in many ways a burden yet also a blessing. Many choose one or the other, and some think it is both. This is a very thoughtful and deep write, and I thank you for sharing your heart! 

My identity can be found in my writing
April 22, 2013
10:06 pm
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Love the title... if this is a nonfiction piece, I'd say that your path is one that is exactly that, "I help them." You are a helper, a healer, a peacemaker... there are no rewards better than that in life. And if those you are helping do not recognize it, they are the unfortunate ones. Keep at it, it pays off. I know this from experience. And no matter what else you do... Keep writing!!!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
April 23, 2013
4:13 pm
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Aah thank you! Yes, this piece is nonfiction. What's sad, relating to this, is that another person has just kind of dropped me just today, acting like I really never existed after a couple of weeks of becoming "friends" with me- it's becoming quite frequent, really. And oh, how I want to write all the time. Sadly time and mood doesn't always permit that. I'll try to, though!

Someday, I like to think. . .
April 23, 2013
11:43 pm
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I love how freely this is written... is real. I can relate to this as well... I agree with what SL & TL said too and + that in my experiences there will be those you will come across who will be forever grateful for being a healer and rock and when you find them or they find you... you will never be forgotten :) .

"they need me, I can’t leave. I'm not blessed with that privilege."

Damn I can relate to that in my work and personal life... such a blessing and curse is right!

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
April 24, 2013
10:31 am
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Bravo Ritski. Very nice personal poem that many can relate to soulfully. Careful what you wish for though, I pray to be remembered and needed. Someday those that rely on you may just surprise you by returning the favor in your time of need. We're all just a face in the crowd................

Write on Ritski......................

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
April 24, 2013
8:32 pm
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enjoyed the read

understands

 

 

and have come to....

think

looking at the earth as a big 'ship' in space

with every day on deck

a good day

 

passes out smiles

just to see how many I get back

:)

 

 

 

 

April 24, 2013
10:24 pm
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laughsmilewink

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

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