Sometimes I like to think that no one would care if I disappeared.
Sometimes I like to think that they would hate me if I disappeared.
But I can’t; there are people here that need me. Not that they really care. But so long as they need me, I can’t leave. I'm not blessed with that privilege.
It works a little something like this: Someone that needs me will come into my life. I help them. “Fix” them, if you may. They make me feel happy. Loved.
Like I actually mean something.
But as quickly as they enter my life, they’re gone. Once I’m no longer needed I’m cast aside- forgotten.
I think that’s all my existence is for. To help people; and to be forgotten.
God, haven’t I suffered enough heartbreak? Of being forgotten.
I can only pray that one day I will be forgotten entirely. I will no longer be just a face in the crowd- I will no longer be just a name. I will no longer have a place in time’s loom of people, of memories.
No one will remember me, then.
Someday, I like to think.
The following users say thank you to Ritski for this useful post:uniquelylost
I can relate to this...You really wrote this message wonderfully. Being needed is in many ways a burden yet also a blessing. Many choose one or the other, and some think it is both. This is a very thoughtful and deep write, and I thank you for sharing your heart!
Love the title... if this is a nonfiction piece, I'd say that your path is one that is exactly that, "I help them." You are a helper, a healer, a peacemaker... there are no rewards better than that in life. And if those you are helping do not recognize it, they are the unfortunate ones. Keep at it, it pays off. I know this from experience. And no matter what else you do... Keep writing!!!
Aah thank you! Yes, this piece is nonfiction. What's sad, relating to this, is that another person has just kind of dropped me just today, acting like I really never existed after a couple of weeks of becoming "friends" with me- it's becoming quite frequent, really. And oh, how I want to write all the time. Sadly time and mood doesn't always permit that. I'll try to, though!
I love how freely this is written... is real. I can relate to this as well... I agree with what SL & TL said too and + that in my experiences there will be those you will come across who will be forever grateful for being a healer and rock and when you find them or they find you... you will never be forgotten .
"they need me, I can’t leave. I'm not blessed with that privilege."
Damn I can relate to that in my work and personal life... such a blessing and curse is right!
Bravo Ritski. Very nice personal poem that many can relate to soulfully. Careful what you wish for though, I pray to be remembered and needed. Someday those that rely on you may just surprise you by returning the favor in your time of need. We're all just a face in the crowd................
Write on Ritski......................
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