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Use These Words Challenge-Memories of Black and White
July 1, 2013
6:04 pm
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He withdraws from existence,

yet welcomes the knowledge of his time. 

A record of this planet viewed in catalogs.

When listening as the silver canvas painting

that electricity pushed from his radio

and spreads across his mind.

 

Reviving an old smile left behind for decades 

working as he was saddled to a machine

in the factory he toiled in.

Is it too much that I ask you to understand

his metaphoric stares out the sand grain window panes

of a dilapidated farm house?

 

He may be old, but he edits the sorrow

from his memory, turning them into a reflection of better times.

Sitting now in an old chair

as dust layers upon the ragged furniture

around him builds the ground for him to die in.

Life was good, but she is gone and he only wants to join her.

 

You're welcome here… another day.

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
July 1, 2013
7:06 pm
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Wow, not what I was expecting from Forge at all... I was planning on slapping my knee and giggling... Great piece!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 8, 2013
10:25 pm
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Yup @Forgewright I really love this one. Someone should come up with some more words to do another one of these :)

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 8, 2013
10:28 pm
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Every once in a while I do good.... well.

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
August 8, 2013
10:51 pm
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Very nice.  Paints a vivid picture.  I would not have guessed that this was yours from the material of yours I've read.  Very nice read, thanks.

August 19, 2013
10:14 pm
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"Every once in a while I do good…. well."

lol had to get the humor in there somehow smile2.

Wow this is an great poem @Forgewright , lots of epic lines, my favorite parts are the opening, ending, and then-

"Is it too much that I ask you to understand

his metaphoric stares out the sand grain window panes

of a dilapidated farm house?"

 

Powerful write.

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
August 24, 2013
9:03 pm
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I think this is one of the best Forge writes! There are some really great and powerful lines here. I love that the life of the man is written before us from the days of toil to the sad ones, and the question makes this personal in the perfect way. 

The following users say thank you to SerenaLantha for this useful post:

Forgewright
My identity can be found in my writing
August 24, 2013
9:51 pm
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Thanks all! This was such an easy write. The prompt words seem to fall in place by themselves. Once I had the first line it just laid down. When I was done I read it and thought,"Did I just write that?" Sweet. Must have been something that wanted to be written. I'm glad it picked me to come to life.

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
August 24, 2013
9:55 pm
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Nice concept. I have felt to have been picked by poems as well. It's inspiration and it hits like a brick and resonates every time I revisit. Yup, this is a good one!

The following users say thank you to tlhopkinson for this useful post:

Forgewright
Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 24, 2013
10:04 pm
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Points: 8524
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I wonder....... Maybe rework it.......a tweak here and there. Something that @Killerelite could really sink his teeth into?

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
August 25, 2013
9:41 am
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Bravo @Forgewright................ The sorrowful tone of this poem gives way to thoughts of someone known to live this way. Each line is steeped perfectly to form prose that made me feel sorrow for the old man. Then hoped that I would not be this old man, shuddering to think of being in the old man's shoes. Not often does one find a poem to procreate such feelings................. Impact!....................... I love poetry that impacts the reader.............. this one does it greatly................... rework it and immediately be dropped from Killer's Christmas list!

Write on Forgewright.................write on

Glad the Viking is back............... don't know why........ maybe symbolistic caricature?????????

The following users say thank you to Killerelite for this useful post:

Forgewright
Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
August 25, 2013
5:30 pm
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Thanks Bill. You should bee fully recovered from your nature outing. the ankle will probably give you more grief. 

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.

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