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Will I ever sleep
January 29, 2013
8:18 pm
Member
Points: 1640
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Warning: A bit of vulgar Language.

When will I sleep through the night
Without waking at obscene hours
And just laying there
In the dark
Alone
And wonder why I'm still here?

When will I speak to someone
Without messing up what I say
And just ruining everything
With just a 
Few
Fucking
Words
And ask myself why I bother talking at all?

When will I smile again
Without it being the product of
Millions of lies and tears
That I can never admit to
Because I know that either
No one will care
Or
Everyone will care?
And the latter scares me the most

When will I be happy again
Without feeling so damned empty
Before,
After,
And every moment of the day and night
In between?

When will I be able to tell the truth
Without breaking the hearts of
Everyone around me
And destroying myself
In the process?

When can I be me
Without being the me that
Everyone wants to see?

When can I be me?

Why can't I be me?

Why am I scared to be me?

I just want to sleep
And smile
And dream
And talk
And be happy
Without having to lie anymore.

Can I just have a hint
A sign
That shows me where to go from here?

Please?

Someday, I like to think. . .
January 29, 2013
9:42 pm
Moderator

Points: 12031
Thanked 228 times
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An authentic confessional piece... it's aching for a metaphor, but even without, resonates with all of us at some point in our pasts. And, I have to say, the "language" you chose fits in nicely here. :)

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
January 30, 2013
5:07 pm
Member
Points: 1640
Thanked 5 times
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0

Thank you. Truthfully, this was a vent due to recent stress issues that I haven't been able to cope with really. Depression is an awful little bugger that just tends to get worse with anxiety. And winter. Mainly the winter, though.

Someday, I like to think. . .
January 30, 2013
7:55 pm
Moderator

Points: 12031
Thanked 228 times
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I'm ready to tell winter to !@#$ off myself :) . The haze finally lifted and I can at least burn a fire in my fireplace now, which does give me slight relief... now if the snow would just quit for a few minutes!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
January 31, 2013
3:13 pm
Member
Points: 1640
Thanked 5 times
5
5

Oh gosh yes. Sadly here we're supposed to get about a foot of snow by tomorrow (highly unlikely, but possible) and I think I'm just done with the winter weather. I've gotten Christmas and my birthday out of the way; forget Valentine's day. I want March ;A;

Someday, I like to think. . .

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