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All I Want For Christmas
December 14, 2012
6:34 pm
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All I want for Christmas is for you to accept me.

I've always been in a shadow,

Overlooked and forgotten for my flaws.

A big, ugly stain on my two perfect siblings.

 

All I want is some sort of praise.

You compare me to the point where I feel 

Hopeless.

They've soaked up every ounce of acceptance from your

"Loving" gazes 

And leave me with nothing but hopeless expectations.

 

I just want to be me.

I don't want to feel obligated to hide myself in front of you.

I just need to know that

You know who I am

And that you accept the fact

That I'm not them.

 

Will you accept me?

Or is all that I'm hoping for just an empty childhood dream

That's followed me forever before

And will follow me forever after?

 

What do I want for Christmas, you ask.

All I want for Christmas is. . .

 

. . .

 

I don't know anymore what I want for Christmas. I want you to accept me.

Just some drawing supplies, you know? Before I lose my mind in your expectations, your selfish reality that keeps me hidden.

Or some books. Why do I have to hide myself from my own family? My friends?

Nothing all that special, really. I already hate myself. If you could just say something like "Good job", I think I can survive another year without adding to my almost-gone scars.

Don't worry about it. You don't know who I am. You haven't been there for eight years.

 

So why am I so hopeful now?

Someday, I like to think. . .
December 15, 2012
12:20 am
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Points: 12031
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Reading this piece and then your quote... there's a certain longing here that you often find in great poetry. You should pick up a book called the Monkey Grammarian by Paz... paths, inner contemplation. Worth reading.

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

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