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Cannot be repaired
December 20, 2013
8:25 pm
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You held my very existence within calloused fingers

And palms roughened from both playing stringed instruments

And catching yourself as you tripped over life’s speed bumps.

I wasn’t broken, in the beginning.

Just cracked.

Fragile.

Glued together and delicate, but not quite ruined.

You were gentle with my being and you cared

But I began to grow dark with age

My fingers grew slender from typing away my mind

And my limbs grew lined and dotted with scars

That were either intentional or accidental, I stopped keeping track at one point.

Eventually, it chased you away

And despite you staying, you weren’t quite there with me

As the cracks grew more prominent and my mind grew heavy with beautiful thoughts

Of falling from your hands and crashing down into the icy dark of life’s ruthless grasp.

Of shattering upon impact and leaving everything behind.

You put me back on the shelf from which you found me,

Damaged and too close to the edge and left to collect dust.

Not that I minded; it was nice to watch you move on, gather new things, new people

New interests that didn’t involve me and new friends that were better than I ever was.

I was content with watching you move on from my non-repairable self.

You were always better off without me, and so I’ve left you be at last

Free from your restraints and welcome to travel everywhere you haven’t been,

Meet people you’ve never dreamed of meeting,

Visiting places and finding things you’ve never seen before.

I can’t guarantee that I’ll be fine here, teetering on the edge right where I was left so long ago.

But I can assure you that things will be better now.

I will try to find my chipped bits and glue them back into place,

Just like you used to.

Just recently ended my first relationship for many reasons, of which lasted four years, and I'm still pretty messed up over everything.

Someday, I like to think. . .
December 20, 2013
8:49 pm
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Points: 12077
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I really love the contemplation in this piece and it sounds to me like you are on your way and know where you want to go on a personal level. I particularly liked the lines:

You put me back on the shelf from which you found me,

Damaged and too close to the edge...

Thanks for sharing!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
December 21, 2013
10:24 am
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Points: 7968
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Bravo Ritski.............. Well written expression of pain and healing.......... Feelings are among the hardest topics to pen and often too enigmatic to understand............... if this poem mirrors your true feelings, you are on your way to being over the pain that's been handed to you....

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
December 25, 2013
7:08 pm
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Points: 8510
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"And despite you staying, you weren’t quite there with me"

That line really nailed it for me.

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.
December 27, 2013
10:31 am
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Points: 5109
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This is a really powerful and profound piece. I enjoyed the descriptions in the beginning lines-they especially drew me in. Also, I love that you point out you were not quite broken...just cracked and fragile. Beautifully done. 

My identity can be found in my writing

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