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To my dad,
June 16, 2013
11:19 am
Writer

Points: 1793
Thanked 49 times
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1

To my dad, who's in a coma,

Maybe forever, maybe for not much longer.

There's no place to stay, except in the corner.

There's just a chair and I sit there.

But for how much longer?

Please don't go.

Love, your son, Joe

'Books aren't written, they're rewritten. Including your own. It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after the seventh rewrite hasn't quite done it... Michael Crichton
June 18, 2013
11:41 pm
Moderator

Points: 8486
Thanked 41 times
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Extremely powerful 7 lines... heartbreaking, hopeful, hopelessness, time, and love.... life is precious.

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
June 20, 2013
12:21 pm
Writer

Points: 1793
Thanked 49 times
3
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Thankyou for your kind words,

Sadly, it is based on a true story that happened to my friend a couple years ago when his dad suddenly collapsed in the street and was in a coma.

 

'Books aren't written, they're rewritten. Including your own. It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after the seventh rewrite hasn't quite done it... Michael Crichton
June 21, 2013
7:08 pm
New Member
Points: 766
Thanked 1 times
4
0

Wow....

This one really touched me. Other entries have been great but this one really moved in a way different to the others.

The despair coupled with the underlying love really makes for a moving poem even in just 7 lines.

June 27, 2013
6:01 pm
Writer

Points: 1793
Thanked 49 times
5
0

Thanks for the kind words!

'Books aren't written, they're rewritten. Including your own. It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after the seventh rewrite hasn't quite done it... Michael Crichton
June 30, 2013
5:40 pm
Moderator

Points: 8099
Thanked 153 times
6
0

What a terrible position to be in. This shares a great sadness.

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.

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