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Espresso Noir
August 25, 2012
9:30 pm

Points: 12028
Thanked 228 times

(This is the one I pull out when I have a chance at actually winning a poetry slam. That has only happened once or twice, but it's the one I've read most often publicly. It's a fun one!)


In he walked in his cap and chinos.

This guy was a cool drink of water,

I mean real hot cup of joe.

He was my kind of guy—

organic, shade-grown and extra tall.

He had a skinny vanilla latte on his arm,

but her disposition wasn’t too sweet.

She had a sugar-free aftertaste,

if you know what I mean.

She was as bitter as over-steeped tea.

What was a guy like this doing with a drip like that.


She was iced to the core, a real frappucino.

I’d bet all my Starbucks

she was going to put a real tamper on things.

She was far from harmless

and I knew right away she had a grande scheme

to squeeze him dry.

Now I don’t mean to vente here,

but I know a femme fatale when I see one

and she had it in for him.

She was an iced latte with legs

and once she had what she wanted,

she would leave him with nothing but froth.


I went to the counter, the sly barista that I am

and in my best French roast accent

I said, “What can I get ya?”

I knew right away it was a mistake

“Can I get some ice water?

It’s pretty steamy out there today.”

“Sure,” I said. I moved like honey

to fill his “complimentary” cup with ice water.

I glanced half-n-half-heartedly at the empty tip jar.

“Any charge?” he asked.

I said… “It’s on the house.”

I percolated pathetically as they mocha’d to the door.

I was too pulled short to do anything about it.

Next time, I’ll expose her true syrup flavor.

I’ll knock box her around and even use a double shot

if that’s what it takes.

In the end, it’ll be him and me,

brewing a breakfast blend.

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 26, 2012
2:48 am
Points: 2538
Thanked 36 times

You win!  Sometimes I'll write something and think, "How did I do that?"  (translated: I just did something I impressed myself with)  So I have to ask "How did you do this?"  Wow, bottle it, I'll buy it.  

August 26, 2012
10:19 am

Points: 12028
Thanked 228 times

LOL, no winners in poetry, only partakers :) . But this was a fun one to write. I had an idea one day to try to write a poem using as many coffee-related words as possible. (I love coffee!) So I did some research and my first thought was the play on cappucino... the poem just developed from there. I love word play, and it just happened to work well in this piece. It's fun to read, all sultry like, like a (female) detective in a film noir movie...

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
September 9, 2012
9:18 am

Points: 8848
Thanked 41 times

I do love the word play here, this poem is teeming with metaphors!! Definitely gets a 10/10 from me for originality and sultriness. I am an avid coffee drinker so this is right up my alley :)  

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
February 5, 2013
1:47 am

Points: 1288
Thanked 1 times

Heehee! Clever and fun, the smooth-talkin style had me smiling the whole time! The balance between coffee based play and telling a story is perfect; each aspect shows the other off. I can tell the effect would be even more fun when performed aloud.

Yes, I'm getting something out of this all-encompassing trip.
February 5, 2013
8:41 am

Points: 12028
Thanked 228 times

Yup, it's fun to read, thanks for the comments!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
February 5, 2013
2:42 pm

Points: 7919
Thanked 179 times

Gotta five it.Too cool for school TLhopkinson! What a clever play on words. Rounded the corners of poetry like a Bugatti Veyron SS. Your mind will offer aliens a wonderfully frustrating look at humans should you be abducted. Where does it come from? You can no doubt talk your way out of a sunburn. I found myself hugging my sides by the end thinking I'm a straight up double Espresso................

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
February 6, 2013
9:25 am

Points: 12028
Thanked 228 times

LOL, add some soy milk and a bit of sweet and I'm right there with ya :) . Thanks KE

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
May 17, 2014
8:55 pm
Points: 1008
Thanked 3 times

Stumbled upon this today.. I must say, I enjoyed reading this piece, just the smile I needed! Awesome :) 

The following users say thank you to dandirenee for this useful post:

May 19, 2014
11:11 am

Points: 12028
Thanked 228 times

Thanks @dandirenee ! and welcome to Thoughts!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

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