A A A

Register | Lost password?
FAUX-fillment
May 25, 2012
9:16 pm
Moderator

Points: 11680
Thanked 228 times
1
5

This life of convenience

hasn’t been too good to me,

and unless I am forced to forage

in the woods for berries;

you know, go all “Into the Wild” like,

I’ll be battling my survival instinct

to hold on to every calorie,

to save every bit of fat

for the “harsh” winter that’s sure to come.

All while I sit behind my desk

in this climate controlled office building

on the 5th floor with a view,

an elevator, nearby parking,

and vending machines only steps away.

I’m just a drive-thru taco bell away from never ever

reaching my goal weight.

Can you imagine how asinine a term such as

“goal weight” would sound to a starving Eskimo

or a settler crossing the plain?

Would they wince at my bookshelves of self-help,

fad-diet, calorie-counting, weight-training,

advice-giving, motivational, statistic-providing,

12-step programming, and extremely boring,

sometimes read, but never finished,

unsuccessful attempts at combating

what comes natural to me?

I read somewhere once that

the fat chicks were the best picks.

‘Cause unless your wife was plump and healthy,

she was likely to die before spring,

and who would nurse your man-child then?

Funny how the times have turned against me.

If only I could be one of those marble statues

carved by an artist with rock-star infamy.

The renaissance women with voluptuous hips,

a glorious little paunch, and small tits to boot.

These days they actually have a machine

that can surgically suck all this life-surviving fat

from my haunches.

They can correct my natural form

by shoving plastic globules of goo into my chest,

and if I really want to spring for the royal treatment,

they can nip and tuck and reshape

and carve every bump, curve, and valley

that protrudes or dips in a not so

Tyra Banks – Carmen Electra type fashion?

God, just the thought of it makes me crave carbs.

This is a life of gyms, trainers,

and a Starbucks on every corner,

a life of technology, ease of use, and upgrading.

This is a life of convenience—

a life of FAUX-fillment—

and though I get a bit better with each birthday

that I celebrate in understanding my body,

my health, and my mental capacity

for the air-brushed, camouflaged falsities

forced upon me every day,

I ache for simplicity.

I want to be me,

without the media telling me, “me” is wrong.

I ache for a life of in-convenience—

a life of FULL-fillment.

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
May 30, 2012
2:17 am
Moderator

Points: 8499
Thanked 41 times
2
0

Always enjoy slam poetry and this is definitely good, I enjoyed it :) The flow and transitions are smooth, and you did an excellent job of intertwining humor, sarcasm, and sadness to express a powerful truth.

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
May 30, 2012
11:42 am
Moderator

Points: 11680
Thanked 228 times
3
0

Thanks for the feedback!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
May 31, 2012
4:58 am
Moderator

Points: 8499
Thanked 41 times
4
0

No problem :)  I loved the reference to Into the Wild in the beginning, and these lines are pretty epic- 

"I’m just a drive-thru taco bell away from never ever

reaching my goal weight." 

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
June 1, 2012
10:29 am
Moderator

Points: 11680
Thanked 228 times
5
0

It's not exactly a winning slam poem (I've read it once or twice at slams) but this post did help me refine it further, so I may try it again :).

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
June 6, 2012
9:10 pm
Moderator

Points: 8499
Thanked 41 times
6
0

Ah so you read this at a slam before, in my eyes that takes a lot of bravery and is something I hope to get to do one day :)

Perfection; my greatest strength and weakness.
June 7, 2012
3:51 pm
Moderator

Points: 11680
Thanked 228 times
7
0

It's not the easiest thing to do for sure. I'm not very great at performing, and trying to memorize makes me even more nervous, so I usually just read from the page. I was getting pretty used to it, but then quit going to slams for a while and now I'm back to square one. I hope to go to more this summer and stifle my nerves with some more practice! That said, the slam community is VERY accepting of new slammers and page poets (those who read from the page). It's a very supportive group of people. You should definitely give it a shot! It's always inspiring and helps me get ideas for new pieces. Plus, you get instant feedback.

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 10, 2012
12:10 am
Writer
Points: 2181
Thanked 36 times
8
0

I don't have much to say except that I enjoyed this piece.  It's a great topic and sounds honest.  I can't decide which section I most like.  The poem has a strong ending, but the beginning and middle are also good.  Whether or not you've had success on stage you are courageous to make the attempt.  Thanks for sharing. 

August 10, 2012
1:21 am
Moderator

Points: 8112
Thanked 153 times
9
0

No book or media will ever be able to tell you how to be you. I hope you are happy to be what you want to be. Great expression in you post.

 

Forgewright

I am a man with one distinguishing manner. I view life as a nonstop roll by circus. Whatever my senses signal to my brain, it is received as humor.

Most Users Online: 144

Currently Online:
16 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

c4a1g: 610

craigb12: 509

DivRem: 303

luv2rite: 260

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 8

Members: 2058

Moderators: 7

Admins: 1

Writing Stats:

Groups: 5

Forums: 53

Topics: 3419

Posts: 13276