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Are Humans Really this Stoopid?
December 7, 2014
9:38 am
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Life is about discovery. Unfortunately some things we discover are unwanted. Unneeded. And often times just a pain in the ass. Last night I discovered that I wasn’t going to be able to close my eyes and sleep. Fourteen hours of work yesterday had endowed me with the inability to clear my mind of the days statistics, figures and just about verbatim every word I typed for a report I’m compiling. My go to mix of Wild Turkey 101, Ginger ale and a twist of lemon wasn’t what the doctor ordered. So I had succumb to an action that rates low on my things I like to do list. Televison.
Flipping through the million or so channels seemed more task than pleasure and wasn’t offering me much in the way of distraction until I happened on a commercial for the Disco channel. I had to rewind several times after initially watching it to make sure I heard and processed correctly the information given......... Here’s the gist of it in a nutshell..... There’s a Douchenozzle going to feed himself to a giant Anaconda on the Discovery channel tomorrow night.......... Did I say that right? Looks kinda twisted in print. Oh wait....... That’s because it is twisted. Twisted but correct. There is actually a male human being going to try and feed himself to the worlds largest snake.
I immediately Googled this and got all the info possible and am at this point just beside myself with the thought that a human would publicize something so ridiculous. Mr. Nozzle is going to don a carbon fiber suit and cover himself with pig blood and antagonize a 20 foot Green Anaconda in an attempt to get the thing to eat him. Apparently Mr. Nozzle didn’t get the memo from Steve Irwin AKA the Crocodile Hunter when he was killed by the only weapon a stingray has. Nor did he get the memo from Timothy Treadwell AKA Grizzly Man when he and his girlfriend were eaten by a Grizzly bear. Now the need to commit acts of idiocy notwithstanding the two above mentioned that perished weren’t actually trying to die via animal attack. It just worked out that way. Mr. Nozzle on the other hand has calculated that his luck will hold and he will survive his ordeal with Mr Coily.........
Acting as a sane member of society I would advise against publicizing this nonsense. I say nonsense because the snake will not eat this guy. It will do what big constrictors do when antagonized. Defend itself against the attacker. It will expunge a huge amount of energy trying to crush Mr. Nozzle but will not engulf him. Here’s a thought for Douche............. Just strip naked and lie on the ground next to the snake........ See how you make out in an a more natural setting that is more even odds for the snake being successful eating your stupid ass. Or better yet forget the snake and walk the plains of Africa at night with infrared video so we can watch large predators actually eat you............ Ok I get it folks. Douche Nozzle wants his fifteen minutes while claiming to raise people’s awareness. But can’t you just wear a shirt or hold a sign? Do you really have to go through something that when thought about seems insane?
I guess I really should thank Mr. Nozzle....... I slept like a rock last night. Woke up this am feeling fantastic. That still doesn’t get Douche Nozzle off my radar...... I still consider him to be a mental patient in great need of treatment......... He and his kind should be dropped from any insurance policy. Never allowed in front of a camera. Beat with a board for their first violation. Hung by the neck till dead for their second........... Just kidding folks I could give a shit less what these fools do for whatever cause they name. I am however rooting for the snake........ Go Mr. Coily! Have a great day constricting and rip this moron limb from limb.................
Semper Fi

The following users say thank you to Killerelite for this useful post:

craigb12, c4a1g
Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
December 7, 2014
1:27 pm
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Lol, I was just watching an old dirty jobs with mike rowe and he was at a snake farm. Seemed to go well with your post :). 

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
December 7, 2014
5:52 pm
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Poor snake,natural creature subject to some god awful tv production, i hope the snake survives this ridiculous performance of some cock-eyed bullshit idiot,what it proves is suicide,but the guy will be saved by arseholes,poor snake ends up dead for what exactly?????????, tv always wanting to push the bounds of suggestive thought, bullshit, hope the snake eats him, only natural to it after all

December 7, 2014
10:06 pm
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Sneaky snake sneezed then

carbon fiber hit the wall

oops no reporter

 

in an interview

Sneaky-snake belched a grin and 

said fools give me gas

 

YESSSSSSSssssss they are .... topic answer lol

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