This is the first draft of the first chapter of my story.
The ***** parts at the beginning are to be filled with some complex mathematical equation/theory that I am yet to research.
You guys are the first people that I have shared this with and so I would like some heavy critique and honest opinions on this if you have the time. This book will take a lot of my time and I need to know if any of it is any good so that I can keep working on it with the aim of one day getting it published.
If I am going off the beaten track and writing garbage then I need to know so that I can go back to the drawing board and rethink how I write it.
One thing I have no experience at is how to edit a large piece so any advice would be great.
Jamboree love the style, little tweeking here and there and maybe a little bit more clearer on surroundings, atmosphere that sort of thing, thought Stark was quite a scary man, well interpreted he reminds me of a teacher I had at school where they could manhandle you back then,many a time got a clip round the earlogs for being cheeky haha
But enjoyed welldone
@craigb12 When you say surroundings do you mean setting the scene? Describing the classroom and place more/better?
Thanks for the help!
I do my friend, we all do it, I do it too so don't worry to much, but an outlay of feeling will help the reader.
I do it to when I got emotions going on about a certain dialogue or mood I forget the scene sometimes
but I did like what you was bringing to me just sometimes got little confused in situations even tho I knew what you was building here.
mr stark is a great character here strong and unpredictable has mars sort of knows this but at same time is pushing him to his own limits.
Thanks for the help. I'll edit it again with this in mind and post it back up here sometime over the next week or so.
i love where your going with this really ,i think you may be on to something here ive seen alot of movies about kids with wizardry and game of thrones but not like this keep at it its different matey !
The following users say thank you to craigb12 for this useful post:Jamboree
Don't worry, I don't intend to give up on this at all.
Not sure whether I am on to something, I'd just be thrilled to have it published. Thanks for the help though.
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