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Ode to the Window
August 22, 2013
10:13 pm
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The window frames the out of doors,

the walkway to the mailbox,

the flowerbed with nothing planted,

the neighbor’s window looking out

from below the rooftop brow

as if to say, “Stop looking in!”

 

The window reflects and distorts

light from sun rays and moonbeams

that gather dust particles in the air

as if the glass is reaching out to the floor,

to the walls, to the insides

where the warmth is held hostage.

 

The window frames faces in judgment,

shrewd old women casting glances

upon passing children and cars

on the street driving too fast.

The window presses onto their foreheads

to remind them they were young once.

 

a/n: hmm, this one is weird, needs work or needs trashed or I dunno... feedback?

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 22, 2013
10:34 pm
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Wish I'd have read this one with my morning java......... I think it's a great reflection and is certainly worthy poetry, but just feeling that there wants to be one more stanza between the second and the last..............to?????????Soften?????? the contrast between 'where the warmth is held hostage."  and 'The window frame faces in judgement." Awesome description................ I am shocked at your current demeanor........I well expected just to read a poem four written four different ways until it is perfect..................... according to you that is............

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele
August 22, 2013
10:36 pm
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Yup, I agree, that transition needs work and I like your suggestion. Thanks!

Wine is bottled poetry. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
August 22, 2013
10:44 pm
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Points: 7981
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Stay inspired @tlhopkinson. I need to something to wake up to in the early am.....................

Those individuals who deem themselves perfect barely scratch an elbow in their fall from grace. Wm Steele

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